


Oh Shit.

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a Tumblr Post, Fluff, I'm sorry I tried pre serum but I couldn't find someone who looks like him, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, The Author Regrets Everything, not from behind, the writer is very tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 16:17:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2514065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the guy Bucky goes to hug from behind isn't who he thought and Natasha needs tampons at 3am.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh Shit.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off one of those AU post thats going around tumblr. Based a little bit more in the comic universe because comic Clint is kinda the same height as Steve (let's pretend).  
> Unbeta'd like always and, again like always, written by a very tired student on her phone when she should be sleeping or doing some sort of school work. If any spelling or capitalising is weird tell me and I'll fix it!

Bucky thought the guy was Clint.

Don't ask him why, he doesn't even know how he fucked up that badly.

Height wise the guy was roughly the same as Clint, sure he has boarder shoulders than Clint but you don't notice that shit when you see who you believe to be your friend talking to a really hot girl you don't know and think "Clint, buddy, Natasha's going to kill you" and then "Let me fuck this up for him!" So no, Bucky didn't notice how the guy had lighter hair than Clint or how the shirt he was wearing was tighter than Clint would ever wear _but_  it _was_ purple. Maybe if he was paying a tad bit more attention he would have heard the brunette the guy was taking to call him  _Steve_ not _Clint_. Maybe if Bucky wasn't plotting how to embarrass who he thought was his friend in front of a hot girl he would have noticed the guy taking in a Brooklyn accent.

But no, James Buchanan Barnes wasn't pay attention to anything other than avoiding everything between him and who he thought was Clint. Bucky slide his arms around the other guys waist and rest his hands around Not Clint's stomach.

The girl kept talking about her class, how horrible her Com 1 teacher was. The guy was frozen stiff but didn't raise an alarm. Now Bucky should have known at _this_ it wasn't Clint, he would have either told Bucky to fuck off or not have bambied in Bucky's arm and kept going with it. But no, Bucky didn't know.

The girl finally stopped angrily gesturing and looked back at Not Clint and Bucky. She stopped too, Bucky thought she was just confused as to where he came from. "Ummm.... Hello?" The girl said carefully in a british accent. Bucky smiled, put his head on the guys shoulder, and let out a soft "Hi."

(Now at this point in the story Bucky will defend to the death that he thought it was Clint. That he was simply trying to cockblock his friend and save his life in one swift move. That he didn't know it _wasn't_ Clint.)

The girl's eyes widen and pressed her lips into a fine line. Bucky turned his head and pressed a little kiss to the neck of Thought-To-Be-Clint. "Hey baby, good job this morning. I couldn't sit right through out my biotech."

The British girl lost it then. She dropped to the ground and was laughing so hard it was silent. It's at this point Bucky started to think that maybe this isn't Clint. "Hi, I'm Steve. I'm sorry to hear about your biotech problem," and that's not Clint's voice Bucky realised. His stomach dropped.

This guy wasn't Clint.

Bucky detached himself from the guy and stood there in shock. Oh god, this guy was going to beat him up wasn't he? He was probably a part of a frat and was going to beat Bucky up. The guy turned around and all of Bucky's thoughts went out the window.

Now if the guy, Steve he said his name was Steve, was a part of a frat Bucky didn't know. What he did know was he'd be a okay with his guy punching him in the face because _wow_. He looked like he came straight off a runway, Bucky knew people who would kill for cheek bones like those. But Bucky took his turn to freeze this time. He stood there staring at this guy until finally he yelled out "You're not who I thought you were! I'm so sorry!" And ran away.

He was determined to never see this guy, Steve McAryan-poster-child, ever again for as long as he lived. And he was good, was golden for a while in not seeing this dude until one faithful 3am.

Tampons.

Natasha needed tampons.

Why she didn't wake up her _boyfriend_ to get her some Bucky doesn't know but she didn't she woke him up. He's stood in Walmart in his pjs looking like death and in a great search for the right box of tampons. A black box. That's all she told him. He found two different brands with black boxes and each of those two had up to four of their own subcategory.

He needed help.

At Walmart at 3am, workers are hard to find. They're all hiding in the corners of the store avoiding all customers at any and all cost. He spent 20 minutes just trying to find one worker, male or female he didn't care at this point anymore, so when he did he was ecstatic. He was bonding towards the worker before skidding to a halt once he realised who this worker was.

It was that Steve guy.

Shit.

Shitty shit shit.

Shit.

Maybe he didn't remember Bucky? No. No, you remember a strange man hugging you, let alone a strange man kissing your neck thinking you're his gay lover. No, Steve Dudeman remembered him. There's no doubt in that. 'Maybe I can disguise myself!' Bucky thought, 'wait, using what? My second face? Yes because I have one of those!' Maybe he could just bring Natasha one of everything? Oh god no, they don't have the money for that. Why the hell are they like $6.50 for a box of cotton that you shove up your vagina?

Shaking his nerves off, Bucky started walking towards the guy. He wasn't even halfway to him when the guy looked up and started laughing. Bucky died a little inside, it was like sunshine. "Oh god not again," Bucky couldn't help the grin that broke across his face, "Hey! this time I need help, how are you with tampons?" Steve stood up from stocking the bottom shelf, "Well," he said as he headed in the direction of them, "My experiences with them is limited but I think I might be able to help."

Steve stood with a box in each hand. Natasha was going to be pissed he was taking so long but hey he was trying! It was down to the same black box Bucky picked up early and a purple one. Steve had said, based off past girlfriends and his mother, to go with super. "Well there's 36 in this box and it's $4.40 but this one has 40 and is $5.00," Steve's eyebrows were pulled together.

Bucky had gotten 4 angry texts from Natasha before finally he said "fuck it!" And bought both of them and what could be perceived as Natasha body weight in chocolates. Steve smiled brightly at Bucky as he handed him his bag and receipt.

Natasha disappeared into the bathroom with the bag the moment Bucky came home with it. He was one shoed, halfway pantsless and four steps from his bedroom door when Natasha opened the bathroom door and called for him.

"You couldn't have waited until you were off the toilet?" He whined as Natasha handed him the receipt. The moment it hit his hand it was halfway to ball form.

"Okay," Natasha said from the toilet, "Don't have a boy's phone number and die alone, just know you're not sleeping on my couch forever." What the hell was she talking about? Bucky uncrumpled the waxy paper.

In what Bucky would call neat handwriting, or at least neater than his chicken starch, was the name Steve and a phone number. Steve's phone number. It took a few moments for it to kick in but finally "Oh!" He all but shouted. There was a groan from Natasha's bedroom, "Great," she said, still from the toilet, "you woke up the deaf guy. How'd you do that?"

Bucky waved her off and headed to his room. Steve's number. How'd he even write it on there without Bucky noticing? He put it in his phone and stared at it.

Did he text now? Did he wait until morning? When would Steve be off of work? What if he didn't answer at all? What if Bucky fell asleep before he could answer Steve's text back and Steve thought Bucky hated him because of it? Shit, he was 17 and trying to ask Gloria Carter to prom all over again. ' _Just send him a text' he thought 'he'll answer when he gets off and you'll answer when you get up_ ' Bucky took a deep breath and wrote out the text.He hit send before he could change his mind.

_do you normally give your number to people looking for tampons at 3am?_

**_only the cute ones_ **


End file.
